I was considering doing a generic post-pourri today but then all of my random thoughts were sort of swirling around houses. Thus I present you with random thoughts about houses and the fact that I really want one.
I’m at an age when a lot of women start to want babies. I am not sold on the baby thing yet, but I do really want a house in the same way that many of my peers seem to want a tiny person to come our of their uteruses.
It’s not that I’m unhappy in my current situation exactly or I need to move out right this second. I think even if I was living in an apartment or renting a home, I’d probably feel to same way. It might be in part a desire, to feel like I had my own space that was mine.
Sometimes I worry that it’s very capitalistic and consumerist of me to want a house, which may be true. I would think that even in a very communal society, though, people would still have their own spaces. They might start out uniform, like baby suburbs and residential districts do, but obviously they would become more individualistic with time.
(Balancing individualism and equal access is tough, but I think we can do it.)
I think I’d like to keep living in the country, but I might like to live just a bit closer to things. It’s crazy to think what 15 fewer minutes means for a drive, but trust me–it starts to feel like it really counts.
If I had a house with enough rooms, it goes without saying that it would have a fantastic library. But I would also want a chalkboard or chalkboard painted wall in my study where I could make notes and also do propositions from Euclid.
Yes, I want a study. And to do Euclid for fun. I’m pretentious as fuck and I don’t care who knows it.
If I have a smaller house, it will obviously be wall-to-wall bookshelves.
This is a very self-indulgent thing to think about, I know, but sometimes we have to indulge. We remember all the important stuff and maintain our awareness and check our privilege, but even if it’s just in the privacy of your head or your very obscure blog, indulge a bit. Whoever you are. Think about the sad and hard stuff, yes. But don’t do it every minute because you will be wrecked and probably not useful for much.
Balance, balance, balance.
If I had a house, I would not have a yard because I firmly believe yards are kind of stupid. I would grow all sorts of other stuff in the ground around my house (maybe moss? maybe clover?) and have a crazy garden and a berry patch and maybe bees and definitely a goat. I would not spend extra hours of my life mowing grass for fuck’s sake. Fuck grass.
Okay, I might need to buy a very small farm? And I don’t want a huge place, but I do want somewhere that people can come and stay.
Because the point of house may be to have a space, but that doesn’t mean that space has to stay empty.
What do you want?