Obligatory post about snow

You could easily play the Jaws soundtrack over the radar shots on the Weather Channel as a purportedly historic blizzard advances on the East Coast.

I already went on a small tear on Twitter about how it’s ridiculous to expect people who live in a very temperate climate to be prepared for a possibly massive winter event like this, so I won’t repeat that here. I will say it’s true that there’s no reason to rush the grocery stores for toilet paper, eggs, and milk (the classic trio), but it’s not unreasonable to be concerned by extreme winter weather in the DMV.

I mean, c’mon, our traffic is among the worst in the country on a good day. You really want to add a decrease in friction to that mix?

Of course, no one really knows how much snow we’re going to get, although chances are almost certain we will get some snow. I’m very lucky in that I don’t have to go anywhere. Although, if I did, I wouldn’t. I have developed somewhat of a “fuck it” mentality when it comes to bad driving conditions. It might be a little PTSD from having my car hit and totaled three years ago, but it’s also this conclusion from that experience: it’s not worth it.

It may unfortunately be worth it for people who have no choice but to go to work, but the problem isn’t with those people. It’s with their employers. It’s with a system that penalizes hourly employees in times of emergency. There’s no good external reason for those people to be out driving, but they probably have some serious internal ones.

(There are also the ones who could stay home but haven’t realized it’s not worth it. We’re not going to talk about those people.)

I’ve been thinking there’s a ideal range for taking pleasure in snow, at least here in the Mid-Atlantic. An inch or two just makes things messy. 3-5 inches is generally quite pretty and does not take an extraordinary amount of fuss to deal with. 6-12 inches poses more of a problem and is less appealing. Anything over a foot is pretty much a disaster.

We don’t get significant snow very often–this particular storm is projected to break some records. Although again, we’ll see what happens. The blizzard of 1996 was probably my first memorable snow storm. Then 2004. And 2010, of course. And now, possibly, 2016.

Whatever happens, friends and readers, I’m hope you’re safe and warm for the duration. And remember: it’s rarely worth it.

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